The Wheel of Death

 Life in Los Angeles  Comments Off on The Wheel of Death
Feb 212011
 

I know, I know.   Where have I been?   A friend called me the other day and said, “Do you realize your last blog entry was October 26, 2010!?”   Yes, I know.   I know.

Wheel of DeathJohn and I used to have annual passes to Disneyland.   We would go all the time.   On our first trip we stayed down in Anaheim for a couple of days and spent a lot of time at both Disney and California Adventure.   Having an annual pass gave us the opportunity to go for a couple of hours on a Saturday night just for coffee and the parade and the fabulous people watching that you can only find at Disney, without the pressure of having to get on a ride or making every minute count like you do when you save up and go once every couple of years.   So, on our first trip to California Adventure we enjoyed everything we could together.   I am a bit of chicken when it comes to rides.   Not just because I’m afraid of the ride but because of fitting.   Yes, there are some rides that just won’t accommodate my ample rear end.   (Years ago, I had an experience at Universal Studios where I didn’t fit in the seat on a ride.   I managed to get the seatbelt around me but clearly I didn’t fit in the seat.   The ride took off and I held on for my life during the whole thing.   It scared the crap out of me.   Really, did I want to be a headline?   “Fat woman plunges to her death on a kiddy ride at Universal…Film at 11!”)   So, even if I had a desire to go on California Screamin’, the roller coaster at California Adventure, it is unlikely I would ever attempt to even get into the seat.   What if I didn’t fit?   What if the alarm didn’t go off when the belt didn’t go around me?   Did I really want to die at Disney?   Surely, if I died they would compensate John quietly as only Disney can…     I decided to be a gamer and get on the Ferris wheel at California Adventure.   How scary could it be?

I was feeling brave so I said, “let’s go in one that slides.”   Here’s how it went. We get in the bucket.   I am feeling fine.   I am sitting Lisa_scream2across from John.   I have a water bottle next to me on the seat.   We start to move…slowly.   I feel my heart starting to pound and my hands starting to sweat.   I looked around for something to hold onto.   There was nothing.   I pushed my fingers through the small holes of the cage.   My eyes were wide.   I looked at John terrified…pleading.   Then as we started to rise I said in a shrill voice, “This may not have been such a good idea!!”   Then my water bottle fell over.   John calmly said, “Honey, we are going to slide now.”   At that moment the bucket slid backwards and we started to swing. I started to shriek and scream like only someone in a horror movie could.   It was a lifetime until we finished the revolution.   They stopped the ride and let us off.   As I stepped off I said to John, “Do you think they know it was me?”   I am pretty sure they have a picture of me in the operator’s box with a big red circle with a line through my face.   For full disclosure, they have a picture like that of me over at Splash Mountain at Disneyland too.

Why bring up the Wheel of Death now?   Because lately that’s a bit how life feels.   Not bad.   Nothing that’s going to kill me.   Definitely some excitement and some fear and some joy and some uncertainty all wrapped up with a “Have Disney Day” smile.

Fat Girl Travels

 Trip to Amsterdam  Comments Off on Fat Girl Travels
Oct 182009
 

When reading other people’s blogs I have often thought of them as self indulgent and arrogant.   I don’t know that mine will be different.   I started thinking what do I have to offer people that would be of any interest.   Besides my upcoming travels to Amsterdam what is it that would make people be interested in what I have to say?   What is it about me that is different?   Uhh, the obvious thing is, as Bob Goen said over and over   again on Entertainment Tonight about me, “…and she weighs over 300 pounds!!”   Yes, I do. It isn’t that miraculous actually.   Honestly, I have lived a pretty charmed life.   Sure I am big but it really hasn’t stopped me…except when it has.   There are things that smaller people never consider and if they do they don’t consider the magnitude of how it would affect someone larger.   For example, airplane bathrooms are very small.   Most people find them to be uncomfortable and cramped.   For me, it is like I am the last sardine in the can, so-to-speak.   Other common considerations in life are restaurant booths, armed chairs, the dentist chair, movie theatre seats, life jackets, roller coasters and my favorite – seat belts.   (Remind me and I will tell the story of the Torrance police officer who pulled me over for not wearing my seat belt years ago…)

While I am excited about this trip to Amsterdam, to see my sister and my BIL, there is for me a level of apprehension and fear (more than the plane falling out of the sky but I have drugs for that.)   You know that feeling when you are all settled in your seat on the airplane and you see the fat girl squeezing down the aisle trying not to hip check any of the passengers she is walking by and you cringe knowing she is going to try and climb over you and squeeze into the seat next to you undoubtedly ooozing some of her copious flesh onto your seat, or leg, or arm?   Well, I’m her.   Believe me, I certainly don’t want to disturb your travels or make your flight any more uncomfortable than it is.   I have in the past bought two seats so as to not disturb anyone.   When I fly with my husband, he doesn’t care that I need a bit of his seat.   But for a stranger it is uncomfortable.   Believe me, I know.

With the airplane seat issue it raises the question of whether or not I am buying a seat to my destination or am I purchasing passage.   There have been a lot of ugly fights in the media about this issue.   People have found themselves at a midway point in their trip when suddenly a gate agent decides they must purchase an additional seat to finish the last leg of their trip.   The rules are rather discretionary.   So, a big guy flying from LAX to JFK with a stop in Chicago may have no problem getting on the first leg of his flights.   He asks for a seatbelt extender and luckily there is an empty middle seat next to him so no one says a word to him.   He flies in comfort to Chicago.   He gets off the plane in Chicago and races to his next gate.   When he arrives and attempts to check in for the 2nd leg of his trip to JFK, the gate agent informs him he must buy a second seat on the plane because the flight is full.   If he doesn’t he can’t carry on to his destination.   But you see, this is an error in logic.   If the flight is full there shouldn’t be an additional seat to purchase.   Ostensibly, he should be stuck in Chicago until there is a flight that has empty seats.   Should he then be forced to purchase an additional seat on a flight with empty seats?   I know when I have purchased two tickets to a destination I was told that if the flight had empty seats they would refund my money for the additional seat purchased.   I don’t know the answer to these questions.   Bigger seats all around?   Bigger seats for larger people?   What about seats with legroom for taller people?   What about a sound proof area for those flying with small children? Obviously, the airline is a business.   They have the right to run their business as they choose.   I also understand an average sized person who already feels cramped in their seat doesn’t want to feel infringed upon by someone else using up what little personal space they have.   It’s a conundrum.   One that I am going to face over the next couple of days and then again in two weeks.     While I doubt I will come up with a solution for this situation that affects all travellers in one way or another it will definitely be an interesting time.   I will keep you all posted.