Sep 202017



at some time in the future. one of these days, at a future date, sooner or later


What if you wake up tomorrow and it is SOMEDAY?  What do you want to do?  Who do you want to call?  Who do you want to write? What do you want to eat?  Where do you want to go? What do you want to say?

The last thing my very dear childhood friend Michael said to me was, “Maybe someday I will just drop by…Hee Hee” He passed away shortly after that message to me 2 years ago.  I still fantasize that he will just drop by.  I still look for him everywhere I go.  I still check my messenger to see if maybe, just maybe, he has read my messages back to him and he isn’t really gone.

Facebook is notorious for reminding you of the “somedays” you have missed.  Facebook still reminds me to ask another friend of mine, who passed away a couple of years ago, to play a particular game with me.  Or it will say, “your friend Bob plays this game” Really?  He’s playing a game on FB?! Why hasn’t he called?! I want to play ALL of these games with him.  I want to call him and talk about games like we used to.  I want to talk to him about everything!  But I can’t.

Then, the other day, Cat Oake, who I had met in person only a handful of times but had her in my sphere of life for close to 20 years, and considered her a friend, passed away suddenly.  (Isn’t that an odd term…saying someone “passed away suddenly”  Isn’t it always “sudden”?  Even when it’s “expected” it’s still sudden.  It’s just the end.) I am reminded of all the things I didn’t say to her but wanted to.  I am reminded of all the times I won’t have with her.  I am reminded of all the times she won’t have.  I am reminded of how much she meant to so many.  I am also reminded of her remarkable legacy and the difference she made in so many people’s lives – the difference she will continue to make!

Think about it.  What are you waiting for?  Who do you want to call?  What are you putting off doing?  Who needs to hear from you?  What’s on your “someday” list?  Who do you need to forgive? Who needs an apology? Don’t wait – because SOMEDAY is always RIGHT NOW and so is SUDDENLY.

Not a Headless Fatty

 Life in Los Angeles  Comments Off on Not a Headless Fatty
Jul 012015


Why is it still okay to make fun of fat people?  And, why am I shocked that it is still so prevalent?

A father of a friend of mine, who happens to be a Facebook friend, posted a scathing article about flying next to a fat person.  He then commented about the horror of sitting in your seat watching a fat person approach and that feeling of pleading that they don’t sit next to him.  It was a terrible article and an even nastier comment.  Rather than call him out publicly, I sent him a private message.  In that message, I explained that I am that person.  I am the fat woman squeezing down the aisle of the plane.  I am the person who is nervous that I am not going to have enough room and more importantly, I am the person who is concerned about disturbing someone else.  I wanted to let him know that the person walking towards him has feelings and underneath their size has a heart that’s breaking.  I wanted to give the headless fat person a face.

The other day, I was figuratively punched in the gut when, I was poking around Facebook.  Someone had posted a video of a fat woman wriggling into a pair of jeans.  She was, of course, headless and faceless (as most fat people are when they are being “exposed” like they are on the news or in the “don’t” section of fashion magazines.)  As I watched the video a couple of things came to mind.  First, I thought it was amazing how she was able to maneuver herself into pants that were clearly too small.  Second, I thought, “that could almost be me…but I think I may be larger…”  Then, mistakenly, I read the comments.  Why was I shocked at how heartless and cruel the comments were? me_pool

The comments section, on most posts, is for people who don’t have the courage to say things in life.  The comment section tends to bring out the absolute worst in people.

So, here I am sitting in my house reading that my “friend” finds this woman disgusting and is laughing about it and saying, “Ewwww.”   I am left with two questions, “Is she disgusted by me? “ and “Why am I friends with this person?!”

I personally have been oinked at while walking in a mall.  I have had people yell pejoratives to me out of car windows.  Often times, in stores and in restaurants I will find people staring at me and giving me the up and down look as if I can’t see them.

Statistics show that of overweight teens (and I loathe the term overweight as it implies a correct weight and someone is over that weight…) 24% of boys and 30% of girls are subject to some sort of bullying because of their size.  I have seen some statistics that show upwards of 60% of elementary school kids are more likely to be teased because of their size.  There have also been an alarming number of childhood suicides because of this horrible practice.  How many fat kids have to kill themselves before we stop?

Why do we continue to tell fat people that they need to change when we don’t tell the bullies to?

Maybe instead of the War on Obesity we should have a War on Hate.  Maybe we should just stop waging war altogether.

Unlike what the news portrays, people of size do have heads and faces and hearts.  So, stop making fun of us.  Stop judging us.  Just stop it!!