They say that no one is as hard on you as you are. Or they say, “You are your own worst enemy.” Those aren’t the same. But lately I have been in such a funk. Unlike Picasso my blue period has not been prolific or inspired. Well, maybe a little inspired. I just haven’t had the gumption to write anything down or do much for that matter. Sure I look for jobs. Yes, I have gone out on some auditions. Certainly, I have thought about producing my one-woman show. I have done a lot of thinking and over thinking and obsessing. Nothing has come of any of it. Maybe a small fire is smoldering inside of me that could use a bit of stoking. I am working on that. That’s why I’m here writing now.
I think the downward spiral came for me a couple of months ago when director Kevin Smith had the run-in with Southwest Airlines regarding whether he needed two seats to fly on their airline. I don’t feel like getting into my whole take on the situation and how I think Southwest Airlines has bad business practices and handled the situation poorly. But what I will say is that Kevin Smith’s situation shined a powerful spotlight on the hatred towards fat people. People were posting such ugly and dismaying things on websites regarding this incident that I literally found myself sickened and filled with despair. “Lose weight you fat fuck!!” is just one of the many comments that were posted aimed at Kevin. Really?!
I have much gratitude to, of all people, Stephen Fry and Craig Ferguson. Craig had Stephen on his show. It was with just the two of them and no audience. How did this help me? Stephen talked about trolls. Those horrible people who post on websites just to get a rise out of people. They go there and say mean and nasty things because they can’t get away with saying them in life. It helped a bit. They said to not read the comments. Those people don’t matter. Who cares if TwilightFan13 thinks I’m disgusting because I’m fat? Really, who cares?
The problem is, I care. I care a lot. I care not just because it’s me and I want people to like me but I care because it pains me to think of little fat and chubby boys and girls out there who, just like I did and do, wake up everyday into a world that thinks there is something wrong with them that needs to be fixed and changed. It makes me so sad to hear Kevin Smith talk about “passing” or being a “normy” on his Smodcast (podcast) inferring there is something wrong with him as he is. As if he lost weight then he would fit in and be normal.
There is so much awareness right now about this subject. As you know there is a “War on Obesity” in this country right now. Michelle Obama is out there teaching people to eat right so they don’t fall prey to the “Obesity Epidemic.” It’s as if fat people no longer have a voice. It’s as if we are truly second class citizens. It’s as if we aren’t human beings but rather animals who have no self control or self worth. We are being treated as if we just don’t know any better and we need the government to step in on our behalf. Wow, this is so incredibly violating and infuriating I can hardly sit here and type this. It’s a good thing I have great blood pressure. Because if there is going to be a War Against Lisa Brounstein, I won’t go down without a fight.